Latest Posts

The girl in the white dress

Every day, anytime I see my daughter laying down with her eyes closed I either must immediately look away or I have to walk away because the pain is too much that I immediately start crying. This little girl was about 7 years old or so wearing a pretty white dress when I helped receive […]

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The bridge to happiness, the bridge to hell

Each day I wake up either from a night of horrific traumatically real nightmare’s which for the most part causes me to “drive over the bridge to hell” for the morning if not the entire day. The irony is that as soon as my eyes open every day I aim to take control of the […]

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Fish Out Of The Water

We all know what happens to a fish out of water, after too long the fish will die from lack of its natural resources. I have felt like a fish out of water for so many years the world that most know to it is foreign to me. I am consumed with the constant need […]

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FAILURE

Failure. What is failure? Failure is what most humans in everyday life fear the most. Failure in school, failure at work, failure as a parent or a spouse and believe it or not failure of SUCCESS! Whatever the case may be failure is something we all inherently shy away from because by definition, it means […]

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Darkness

On a day to day basis there is a void inside, an internal blackhole that lies dormant waiting to suck you into it with no chance of escape. I say this because regardless of how much success one has or happiness sometimes it is not enough. Your inner circle or your support system must be […]

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Comfort in CHAOS

Each and every day the adrenaline rush is at a deficit for me. The constant urge for that rush of emotion, loud noises, explosions, ducking for cover, shooting, being shot at all of that equals that fact that I find comfort in chaos. Now I am not saying I am constantly hoping for something to […]

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Who am I?

PTSD. I first heard those 4 letters shortly after my 14 consecutive months in combat. This was not just your run of the mill 14 months. They were 14 months filled with so man expletives that if I listed them all I would run out of the 18,000 characters I am given. In all seriousness, […]

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Sleeping in hells waiting room.

A box. Now imagine each and every one of your most painful moments of your adult life packed into that box. Well for me that box is tucked away in the deepest darkest part of my brain. Those thoughts are occasionally the ones that interrupt a beautiful dinner with your wife, the thoughts that cause […]

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